"When I was 21 years old, my 3 month old daughter was being bottle fed by her father while I was being choked with his free hand. That was the day I decided to run."

Nicole is just one example of the 2,000 women, men, and children SARC supports in their journey from victim to survivor every year. While her story is extreme, it is unfortunately not unique...

"I had actually run three times before, but I always went back to promises of change: counseling, apologies, and professions of undying love. I would later learn with SARC that this was not uncommon for so many women in my shoes.

But on this day, I made a choice for my daughter that I could never make for myself. I packed a bag with formula and baby clothes, grabbed the diaper bag and a couple of changes of clothes for myself, and took a cab to the Orlando airport. My mom had a plane ticket waiting for me. My plan was to hide at my grandmother's house in Massachusetts until I felt safe enough to move to Maryland with my mom. Some time passed, and I got back in touch with my daughter's father. Even after being brutally abused for three years, I still felt a responsibility to "do the right thing" and allow my daughter to have her father in her life. My daughter was eight months old when I allowed her father to bring my clothing up from Florida and visit her. He offered pretty words and more promises - he would find a job in the area and we would work on our relationship. I didn't realize refusing him would almost result in the loss of our lives.

A couple of months later, his sister called to tell me he had stolen their mother's gun, a box of hollow point bullets, and her car, and was on his way to Maryland to find me. He went to the leasing office to try and find out what apartment I was in. Luckily, the leasing office called my mother and asked if the police needed to be contacted. She said yes. Two officers came to my apartment and took the three of us to the SARC Safehouse immediately. My daughter's father had been spotted in the woods across from my apartment, so the police decided to take action. SARC opened up their Safehouse to me, my daughter, and my mom so that we would all have a safe place to go. To protect us and themselves, SARC provided transportation from a public location to their private one, where I shared a room with my daughter and my mom for a few days. As stressed and confused as I was about everything that was going on, being in the Safehouse made me feel protected. I was with people who not only empathized, but actually understood exactly what I was going through. That gave me courage. It also gave me hope. And I hadn't felt that way in a very, very long time.

During that time, SARC provided legal help to walk me through the process of obtaining an ex-parte. When it was time for me to attend the court hearing, SARC provided legal support, resources, and advocacy. The legal team presented my case to the judge and successfully obtained a restraining order. The terror I was feeling would not have allowed me to do this on my own. SARC's legal advocate explained every single step to me in terms I could understand, and I was never left alone while in the vicinity of my abuser. The Bel Air police officers who worked my case attending my hearing, escorted my abuser to the bus station for his return to Florida, and followed up on my well-being, going above and beyond their duties with compassion and urgency. I believe this is a direct result of their education in domestic violence due to their connections and cross training with SARC.

Later, SARC provided counseling os I could begin to piece my life back together. My sessions were judgement free. There was no victim blaming. I felt supported and that helped me to start letting go of the shame I should have never felt over this horrendous thing someone else had done to me.

My daughter saved my life and SARC empowered me to live it. They gave me the support and resources I needed to stay safe and begin to rebuild. I had to do the work, but the involvement from SARC and the free resources that I received helped give me the confidence I know I was capable of standing up and speaking out, and that I deserved a future free from pain.

My story with SARC does not end there, beacuse years after my ordeal, I finally felt like I was in a position to give back, and I decided to volunteer with SARC. I went through the Basic Crisis Response Training so that I was able to help victims admitted to the hospital for sexual or domestic violence, I've adopted families through their holiday programs, and I've volunteered for Walk-a-Mile In Her Shoes. So not only have I personally experienced the need for their services, I have also seen first-hand what SARC's need are and where the donation money is utilized.

Abuse results in isolation. Isolation strips you of your choices. SARC gives you a voice and a choice. They give you the connection you need so you don't have to do it alone anymore."

SEXUAL ASSAULT SPOUSE ABUSE RESOURCE CENTER INC

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