Tonight marks three years since Jacob passed away.
The night of 10/14/2016 will forever be burnt into my memory. Jacob had been home from rehab for three weeks. It was a Friday and he had plans to visit his longtime girlfriend at Mount Holyoke for the weekend. I was on my way to a concert in Brooklyn, feeling completely carefree & so happy knowing my little brother was going to have a fun weekend as well - until I got a text from Kate. Jacob had never shown up. He hadn't responded to a text message or answered a phone call for over 8 hours.
He was gone.
What my family and I have been through the past three years without Jacob is the truest rollercoaster of grief.Many days, months, verging on years, of severe depression & pain.
Days where getting out of bed was excruciating and exhausting.
Days of complete confusion. How did this happen?? How did we not realize how bad it was?? How did we not see the signs?? He was at rehab for 8 weeks...we thought he was all better?
Days of raging anger. Why didn't the rehab tell us XYZ? Why didn't his therapist tell us XYZ?
Days of the deepest guilt we've ever felt. Why didn't I do more? Why didn't I completely stop my life just to be with him and support him?
and then eventually we started to experience...
Days of how can I make sure no one else ever experiences this?
Days of how can I help stop the opioid crisis?
Days of how can I advocate for others with this disease?
Days of how can I break the stigma?
Days of how can I live a life that is meaningful & centered around serving and supporting others?
Days of what can I do to best honor my little brothers life?
I am so fortunate and honored to have the opportunity to run the 2020 Boston Marathon for Herren Project. Along with my goal of 26.2 miles comes the goal to raise $10,000.00. I will be running every single step for Jacob, for all other sisters who have lost a sibling to this evil disease, and for those who are still fighting for their own recovery.
Any donation, no matter how small, will go towards saving a life, and in turn, saving a family.
Herren Project is a 501(c)3 non-profit foundation established in 2011 by former NBA basketball player Chris Herren. Together we recover...as we support, inspire & empower those affected by substance use disorder. www,herrenproject.org