Hi! Today is my birthday, but rather than thinking about myself, I want to think about people who are having a hard time right now, namely: Kim Kardashian.
I am trying to raise one million (1,000,000,0000,000) dollars to give to Kim at midnight tonight to make her feel better about what happened on the internet this week. My idea is that she can use the money to have a one million dollar dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. Think of how much better literally anyone would feel if they got to have a one million dollar dinner at The Cheesecake Factory!?! So I guess really this fundraiser is for Kim AND The Cheesecake Factory, two great causes.
BUT, if Kim says no, she doesn't want the likely hundreds of dollars that I raise today, I will instead give that money to Downtown Women's Center, a wonderful place giving aid and care to unhoused women here in Los Angeles. So, even though I am ONLY interested in helping Kim, if she does not want this money, I WILL give it to Downtown Women's Center. I hope Kim takes it, because a nice dinner at the Cheesecake Factory or something could really turn her week around!
BUT, again, should she choose to forgo the funds, I WILL give this money to the Downtown Women's Center. I hope she does the right thing (keeps the dozens of dollars), but I can't control the universe. The most important thing to remember here is that it is my birthday, and there's nothing more important during a global pandemic and historic election than my birthday, except, of course, raising a million dollars for Kim Kardashian and The Cheesecake Factory.
BUT, if things go poorly, I guess it would also be cool to give one million ($2,000,000,00000.00) to a group that truly makes a difference in the lives of unhoused women.
*To be clear all donations go DIRECTLY to DWC!